Married Women
MARRIED WOMEN: STAY, PRAY, AND OBEY
My husband and I have been "together" for 31 years (we met June of 1979 and for God's glory, we have been inseparable). We have had our trials and tribulations through the years, but God worked it all together for our good, because we love Him and because we are called, according to His purpose. His Word said that He would. We were "married" in January of 1983, and will be married for 29 consecutive years on January 15, 2012. For 26 of those years, we have been married, "in the Lord".
Neither my husband, nor myself were born again, when we met in 1979. We were both unsaved and in the world, obeying the lust of our flesh.
The Lord called me to salvation in April of 1985. He called my husband to salvation in September of 1985. If you were already saved, when you married, you should be married to a saved man. If you are not saved, perhaps God is calling you to salvation right now. Ask Jesus to forgive all of your sins, and come into your heart. He will do it. Pray and seek His direction for a home church. It will be, and is God's job to save your husband.
If you were both unsaved when you married, and you received salvation afterwards, then pray, stay, and obey. It is up to God to save your husband. Every marriage needs Jesus, for He is our guide in everything. He said in Proverbs 3:5 - Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. 6 - In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. His Word directs us when we don't know where to go, who to go to or what to do. He is a friend who sticks closer than a brother (Prov 18:24 - A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother). Wives I know that we don't want to hear this, but we need to at least KNOW IT! I have discovered the key to a successful marriage. It is..........wait a minute...........here it comes..........a word we hate............. submission……in YOUR MARRIAGE, in your role as a wife. Now I know that this is not very easy to do, but submission in the marriage (your role as wife) is the key, the key that unlocks many doors. When we don't submit ourselves to our own husbands, as unto the Lord, many problems arise, and many doors are locked. They CAN'T be opened, without the key. I know that the Word says...... husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it, but that directive was NOT GIVEN TO US!!!!! It was to our husbands, and we are not to concern ourselves with that. I know from experience that when we do, our relationships become argumentative, instead of full of peace and joy.
We should not try to direct our husbands on how to fulfill the Word of God. That is God's job! I am not telling you to be a robot. A robot does not have feelings. A robot is programmed to do what he has been programmed to do. We are women, and I know that a woman's feelings run deep. They should run deep for the Lord first, and then our husbands (if you're not there yet, don't worry because in time, you will be). When our feelings run deep for the Lord, when we learn to love the Lord with all of our hearts, minds and souls, then it will become easier to submit to our own husbands in our role as wives, as if we were submitting to our Lord. Try to submit yourselves to your husbands AS UNTO THE LORD, which means LIKE YOU ARE DOING IT FOR JESUS :) :) :)..........in other words, try to have the attitude of - I am doing this for Jesus, and "try" to DO IT FOR JESUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you are in the Lord NOW, try to submit yourself to your husbands as unto the Lord............submitting to him, as if he were Jesus!!! You may ask, even if he is unsaved??? Yes. 1 Cor 7:10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: 11But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. 12But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. 13And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. 14For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. 15But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. 16For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife? 17But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all churches. Submit.........as if he were Jesus. AS IF!!!! Now ladies, we know he is "not" Jesus, for there is only one, but just try it, as unto the Lord (Ephesians 5:22says - Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Here, it is talking about marriage. Submission is necessary in your role as wife……….in your marriage.
ROLES
We must learn to separate our roles. Marriage is marriage. I am a wife. I submit to my husband (with the help of The Lord) in our marriage.
Ministry is ministry. I submit to God (as He puts in me both to will and to do of His good pleasure) as the Lord of my life, the Saviour of my soul.
It takes the Wisdom of God to separate the two.
In every thing in your marriage. Remember! God is talking about marriage in Ephesians, and our roles as wives. When you know what God expects from you, he will give you the strength to do it.
1 Cor 7:33 says But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife (I believe it should work both ways). We can also make sure our husbands have food prepared when they need to eat. We can make sure they have clean clothes. We can make sure their sexual needs are met.
I do realize that most wives work, and God will teach us how to have balance in our lives. He is still teaching me since I retired.
When I worked, God put me on a schedule. I got up early to pray. I then prepared breakfast before I went to work each morning, packed lunch the night before, and prepared dinner when I arrived home in the evenings, and as the Bible says, the only times we were not available for for each other sexually, was when we gave ourselves to fasting and prayer (1 Cor 7:5).
Sometimes I was tired, but the Lord strengthened me each day, for I tried to submit myself to my husband as unto the Lord. I thought of it as my reasonable service to the Lord.
I cleaned house on Saturdays and washed clothes at that time also. Those things are included in the role of a wife. In some households both the husband and the wife do the chores, and that is wonderful! Titus 2 1-5 says that the older women should teach the younger women how to love their husbands and be chaste, good keepers at home.
My dear, sweet and wonderful mother, Gloria, taught me well, and she knows that I love and appreciate her very much. So, because she taught me well (she was teaching me the Word, when I was five years old) I learned at an early age, the things that I should include in my marriage, in my role as a wife. My mother was taught the Word at an early age by her mother, and my mother is still a keeper of God's Word. I have a daughter whom I taught the same things I learned from my mother.
You would be surprised of the women who really do not know how God expects them to be obedient to HIS WORD in their marriage, as a wife. We have roles. We have roles as mothers. We have roles as wives. We have different roles.
You may have a role as a President of a corporation; you may have a role as a God mother. You may have a role as a Stay at Home Mom. You may have a role as a Politician. You may be an Auditor for the IRS.
God has given each of us roles in this life, at work, in the home, and in ministry. Everybody has different roles.
I understand that now, for I did not realize it before. God showed me.
When I met my husband, I had my own house, my own car, and my own job. I paid my own mortgage, bought my own food, paid my own car note and put gas in my own car. I had the role as the head of my house.
I was a single unsaved woman. I did not have a head (although before marriage, as a child, I was under my parents authority and had to obey them as the Bible says in Ephesians 6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. 2Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; 3That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth). After I moved out of my parents home, I took on a different role.
After I married Bernard, we had to become one.
Now (29 years later) we have our houses, our cars, our grocery bill and our jobs (I retired from my secular job with the federal government after 30 years....I began when I was 15).
It takes "TIME" to become one and I am still learning and growing each day in marriage, in my role as a wife. I have not learned all I am going to learn. I am still growing, as a wife, in the Lord. I am still learning to submit as a wife, on a daily basis. Even as I write this, I have to stop, as my husband is hungry and it is time for me to cook breakfast.
Breakfast is over :)
Wives, we must submit. I must submit, daily. God helps me. I know it is not easy, but thanks be to God, it is possible "with Him". His yoke makes it easy. Ask Jesus to help you to submit in your marriage and it will become easier day by day (sometimes you "will" grit your teeth).
We must take one day at a time. We can't look ahead, and we can't look back. Some days you may miss the mark (I miss it more than I care to say), but thank God He gave himself for our sins (Gal 1:4).
We can start over again, when we do miss the mark, we can get up and press toward the mark of our high calling!! Our prize is Christ Jesus. We can start over, for His mercies are new every morning (Lamentations 3:22 says - It is of the LORD's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. 23 They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness). He delights in mercy (Micah7:18 says -Who is a God like unto thee, that pardoneth iniquity, and passeth by the transgression of the remnant of his heritage? He retaineth not his anger for ever, because he delighteth in mercy). HUSBANDS ARE ALSO TO SUBMIT TO THEIR WIVES. YES………..THEY ARE: Ephesians 5:21 King James Version (KJV) 21Submitting yourselves "one to another" in the fear of God. WHY IS THAT HIDDEN? WHY CAN’T WE SUBMIT OURSELVES…..ONE TO ANOTHER……..IN THE FEAR OF THE LORD? WHEN WE DO, IT IS SO PEACEFUL!!!!!!!!!!
Another mistake we make as saved married women is to submit ourselves to our pastors instead of our husbands. Yes, I said it!
I am sorry if it comes to you as a shock, but it is shockingly true. A vast amount of married women submit to their pastors, instead of their husbands. It is happening every day, in every church, in every state, and releases havoc in our marriages. I would give an example, but we "all" do this, or have done it in our own marriages, in different ways and I am sure that you know how to apply your situation to this, and rectify it, according to the Word of God. Wives, submit yourselves to your OWN husbands as unto the Lord.
PASTORS JOB
A pastor's job is to feed the flock the Word of God: 1 Peter 5:2 says Feed the flock of God which is among you, taking the oversight thereof, not by constraint, but willingly; not for filthy lucre, but of a ready mind; 3Neither as being lords over God's heritage, but being examples to the flock. 4And when the chief Shepherd shall appear, ye shall receive a crown of glory that fadeth not away. 5Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble. 6Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time.
Every pastor is to be respected in God's house and their requests should be honored in the house of God, for we grow from the Lord using them to deliver the preached /taught Word of God. The Lord uses pastors to watch the growth of our souls. They will have to give account to God for the work He has called them to do. In honoring the pastor, we actually play a part in them delivering the Word of God, with joy and not with grief. In other words, we make their jobs easier. The Bible says in Heb 13:17 Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you. On the other hand, He never called pastors to lord over God's heritage, but to be examples to us (1 Peter 5:3 Neither as being lords over God's heritage, but being examples to the flock).
It is true that some of their works will be burned (1 Cor 3:13 Every man's work shall be made manifest: for the day shall declare it, because it shall be revealed by fire; and the fire shall try every man's work of what sort it is). 14 If any man's work abide which he hath built thereupon, he shall receive a reward. 15 If any man's work shall be burned, he shall suffer loss: but he himself shall be saved; yet so as by fire. God will be the Judge, not us!
If your husband (your head in marriage) has a problem submitting to the Pastor in God's house, and determines (after fervent prayer) that he needs to leave that particular edifice, it is your responsibility to submit yourself to your own husband, in your role as wife, and go with him. Your husband may have a call on his life to begin a work for the Lord, and the Lord may have directed your husband to begin that work for Him. The pastor may not be in agreement with your husband about his call and about your husband starting the work for God. "Then" you are to submit to your husband, and support him. You are one. You should cleave to him. There should not be strife in God's house. Neither should there be strife in your house.
Submission to your own husband as unto the Lord is the key. We live with our husbands. We share our lives with our husbands. God's Word says for us to submit ourselves to our own husbands, and if your husband is your pastor, then God has called you to a greater ministry: to pray for him, to encourage him to continue to study, teach/preach, to pray for the church members and most of all, to pray for yourself. If God has also called you to preach the Word of God (God called me to preach His Word and pray, "before" He called my husband to the ministry), then do so, under the anointing of God and God will use you mightily. He will "cause" you to pray. He will help you..........through PRAYER.
My husband became my pastor when he accepted his call to pastor. You may be thinking, my husband is saved but........what if my husband or husband-pastor is not right, in my sight? What if he doesn't "show" love to me, as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it? Do I stay married to him? Do I stay in our church? Do I still remain submissive to him? The answer is: YES!!!!!!!!!! YOU DO!!!! You stay, pray and obey. Eph 3-20 says: Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, Unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen. God will get the glory and you will store up treasures in Heaven!
What if my husband is unsaved? What if I received Jesus, after I married him, and he doesn't know the Lord? You stay, pray and obey. ( 1 COR 7:13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him (I could not leave my husband, but if he wanted to leave me, the Bible says.....let him depart). 14For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. 15But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. 16For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife? I stayed, prayed, and obeyed God, and God saved my husband. Note: Now, if you are in an abusive relationship where you are being beaten and/or abused, GET OUT OF THE VICINITY AS QUICK AS POSSIBLE!!!!!!!!!!! SEPARATION IS PERMITTED (1 Corinthians 7:11 King James Version (KJV) ) 11. But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. If he wants to depart, the scriptures tell us to let him depart. If you are in a normal marriage, you stay, pray and obey GOD. Submit yourself to your own husband (as unto the Lord). Alway remember the Word: Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. And remember, pray, and God will cause your husband to do this: 25Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. 28So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 29For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: 30For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. 31For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. 32This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
REMEMBER! The husband is the head of the wife (marriage). Christ is the head of the church and the savior of the body (ministry/church). Marriage is "like" Christ and the church. Marriage is symbolic to Christ and the church, meaning wives are to submit to their husbands, just as/like the church submits to the Lordship of Jesus Christ, and husbands are to love their wives, just as/like Christ loves the Church so much that he gave His life for it Ephesians 5:25).
In other words: WIVES.....SUBMIT FOR JESUS, AND THE HUSBANDS ARE TO LOVE THEIR WIVES FOR JESUS. DO IT FOR JESUS!!!!!
I believe this is the definition of marriage being symbolic to Christ and the church. The Bible calls it a mystery. God will sometimes reveal mysteries: 1Cor 2:10 But God hath revealed them unto us by his Spirit: for the Spirit searcheth all things, yea, the deep things of God. Matthew 11: 25 says at that time Jesus answered and said, I thank thee, O Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because thou hast hid these things from the wise and prudent, and hast revealed them unto babes.
The key is for wives NOT to WAIT for your husbands to love you as Christ loved the church, but to do your part and SUBMIT (for Jesus). Most wives are waiting for their husbands to love them like Christ loved the church and gave himself for it, and use the fact that husbands are not loving them like Christ loved the church..........for an excuse not to submit. DON'T WAIT!!!!!!!! Do your part. If you wait, it will NEVER happen, for you will be too concerned with what he is not doing and you won't ask the Lord to help "you".
God will work on him, as He works on you. God gave me a revelation. Some of us have the key of submission, but the key is not working, because we are submitting to the wrong person. The key will not work in the wrong lock. It MAY even fit in the lock, but it will not turn, because it is not your lock. You are married to YOUR husband, and no one else (except the Lord). If you submit to God first, it is easy to submit to your husband in your role as wife. Use the key (submission as a wife) for your lock (your own husband). Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands, as unto the Lord, and the key of submission will work, and unlock the blessing of a marriage made in heaven. You will experience firsthand, the power of acting on the Word of God!!! It will not be so easy, especially at first, but God's grace will see you through! His grace is sufficient for you!!!!! STAY PRAY AND OBEY!!!!!!!!!!!! God will give you strength as you obey God in your role as a wife to your husband. It is a daily endeavor. We must ask the Lord to help us die (to ourselves) daily!